I HAVE HAD IT.  Sit back boys and girls because I’ve got to blow off some steam.

What the bloody fuck has happened here?  How has it come to this where it’s not even September yet and I’m watching meaningless games?  Why is this happening?  I guess the general thing you can ask is… “What the fuck?”



Well everyone, let’s go through the official 2009 WTF List.

I can't hear you kissing back there! Kiss harder!

WTF #1:  WBC

This is what kicked off out fantastic first season at the Shake Shack.  We sent every impact player we had outside of Johan away from a proper spring training and it seems like we haven’t seen them since doesn’t it?  Lay this blame on ownership who needed to carefully lick Bud Selig’s tender hairy ass more than every other owner and ended up contributing to the biggest disaster in Mets History.

Greatest idea ever... anywhere

WTF#2: Karma  

The Mets as an organization don’t do anything half assed except when they’re physically running the bases.   It’s not good enough to win a title, we need to win 108 games and do the surreal in game 6 to get there or pull off an all time baseball miracle in 69’.  When they lose, they need to lose more than any team ever.  When every year some pitcher throws a no hitter, we have to never throw one ever.  When they make a bad trade, it has to the worst one in baseball history.  When they get hurt, they need to have the ENTIRE roster go down.  When they sign a few aging stars, the players have to throw bleach at people, threaten reporters, have “I’m not gay” press conferences or live on houseboats.  The executives can’t just be bad, they need to be fucking the secretaries, threatening to beat up the farm system or trading franchise players because of personal vendettas.  It’s half the reason we enjoy them… they embody extremism, which is what NYC is all about.

Who would have thought this concept would be a negative?

WTF#3: Omar

As a collection, we as fans don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes beyond the evidence that leaks onto the papers or the playing field.  That being said, you can usually tell chaos when you smell it in the air.  There is a reason when every player went down,they didn’t get any reinforcements when they needed them and the ship was allowed to veer this far off course.  Ultimately this is on Omar’s shoulders as he should have taken the inside information only he knows and found a way to steer the ship.   The Mets are always about chaos and he’s proven not to be able to succeed in that environment.

It's your nose, you know. Fans are funny that way, they take a dislike to things. They'll pick on a nose.

WTF#4:  Fred & Jeff Wilpon. 

In what world do two men have a billion dollar asset and insist on having non professionals involved in running it?  Well, The Yankee world was like that for years and they only developed good teams when the boss wasn’t in the mix.  Other great teams with meddlesome owners included the Reds of the 80’s, the Orioles & Marlins, late 70’s A’s… wait no, they sucked I’m sorry.

We should have signed Manbearpig and let Al Gore run the team

WTF#5: Olle, Maine & Reyes

Who would have thought that between Olle and Derek Lowe the right answer was to get neither of them?  I’ve been an Olle supporter and I have to admit I’m totally 100% wrong.  Between him & John Maine (who wants surgery desperately, but has nothing that needs a repair) the win total this year is embarrassing.  Maine needs to come back as a pen arm next year and Olle needs to go do something else for a living.

About Reyes, who doesn’t think he’s not busting it back because he knows he’ll be traded if he shows himself to be healthy?  What a disaster…

I kinda of miss Mo Vaughn, don't you?

WTF#6: Delgado & Putz

These two important players came into the year hurt and management knew it.  They had all spring to get a capable backup and chose to cross their fingers.  Not only that, they actually sent Putz to pitch in the freaking WBC!  You can’t make this shit up…



Yeah, enough said.

WTF#7: The training staff

I bought the “best in the world” line for a long time and as player after player went down I figured that management was making them play through tweaks and aggravating injuries.  Then more players went down, and then even more. Now, Johan & Frenchy are down and there is literally not a player left worth watching.  A loaded, championship caliber baseball team has been reduced to Nationals status by way of a plague of vague injuries.  I don’t even know how Reyes got hurt, do you?

“Best in the world” or not , it’s time to honestly examine the people responsible for keeping the tweaks from happing in the first place.

Stop drooling

WTF#8: Our Benitez meter

How is it on 24 and we have the record we do?  Without Krod can you imagine what the record would be?




What's up with that?

WTF#9: My new fancy pants

I bought some fancy pants when I was on vacation and the pocket ripped… what’s up with that?




Bobby V and the Mercury Mets. Never has a great idea ever worn a bad idea so well.

WTF#10: The overall product

My slingbox beamed this disaster to me, 4,937 miles away in Greece.  For three weeks I watched game after game of torture.  Yes Fred, I know you think Met fans are 2nd class, but I actually watched your pitiful product while on vacation. We do care. Can you please fix this?  Please no Ricco or any other projects that haven’t produced successfully before.  Face it, you have bad judgment when picking executives.  Get a veteran, proven baseball man to run the show and let Bobby V come in there and run the on field ship.  Please….

Thanks a lot


In closing I’d like to give a giant middle finger to the Texas Rangers for embarrassing me by wiggling a fat Nolan Ryan at me for 3 months and then handing him to the Daily News.   Thanks guys!  And finally Pedro…my buddy Pedro.  You should have retired after Boston my friend. 

Posted By Nik Kolidas

One response to “ENOUGH!

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