The top ten reasons why my favorite .500 baseball team’s stars should NOT be flushed away and other stuff

Hello fine folks out in internet land! It’s been quite a while since I posted something to KK and I blame that largely on our weekly podcasts being too awesomely awesome. I guess when you follow a .500 team with a blurry future, there’s only so much steam in the tank. Well today I’m going to change the filter and let some exhaust out. But first, this commercial message…

Welcome back! Without any further interruptions, I present

The top 10 reasons why my favorite .500 baseball team should NOT trade any of it’s stars

  1. According to Carlos Beltran, the team would be 23% less likely to perform well without good players
  2. According to Ryota Igarashi, “私は良くない野球が嫌いです!!!!!!”
  3. Have you seen Lucas Duda try to hit? He’s terrible.
  4. Dale Thayer had a 27.00 era last year
  5. I’ll be even more focused on the ungodliness of Davey Johnson wearing a Nationals uniform
  6. I hope David Einhorn hates the Dodgers and bimbos that allow Mr. Met to paint their nails. Wait, what were we discussing? Photo via Ed Leyro
  7. It will be far less likely that I’ll give Fred $19.00 for parking to see Schmuck McDoodles from the Bisons try to get out Carlos Beltran of the Giants
  8. Terry Collins might have a stroke without a bullpen and with our medical staff, he’ll likely die from it
  9. Vegas gives us a 2% change of making the playoffs. That’s a 2% chance Philadelphia fans will have to watch us beat them in the NLCS. That’s not worth throwing away
  10. Darryl is too old to play and BJs are not allowed between innings in the bullpen anymore

In other news

Who wants to buy

I’m selling it to the highest bidder because the Mets don’t care where it points to. Keep those midget porn offers coming…


By Nik Kolidas

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