We have got a great scoop here at Kinerskorner.com. While you can go to other sites to find out about which fifth starter candidate or 5th outfielder Sandy Alderson is about to acquire with his $25 Amazon Gift Card he received from the Wilpons for operating expenses, but here we can tell you what Santa left under the tree for your favorite (and despised) current and former Mets!
David Wright: Santa’s gift did not come from the North Pole, rather it came right from New York City, on Sesame Street. It was brought to you by the letters C, F and the number 5. The C is for Captain, which he will be if not by official uniform letter than in reality. The F is for Franchise, as his contract ensures that barring a significant injury or trade he will be the second Mets player whom you can call rightfully call The Franchise without anyone who lived through the late 60s-early 70s giving you the evil eye. The number 5 is a Present to be Named Later, for when he retires and his number joins the select group over in left field.
Reuben Tejada: A Mets jersey with the name Not Reyes on the back
Matt Harvey: An MLB Full Season Contract
Ike Davis: A valley fever free spring (PLLLEEASSEEEE) and a Mets Keg
John Buck: A franchise with a more trustworthy ownership.
Justin Turner: 1,001 Pie Recipes
Mike Baxter: Mets Immortality
Jordany Valdespin: A Mets Cap
Daniel Murphy: A 2B Glove, and ONLY a 2B glove, and a bat. My sources say he slept with the bat in his arms.
Frank Francisco: A Nathan’s coupon
Travis d’Arnaud / Zack Wheeler: One last month out of the limelight in April before hopefully/probably the end of obscurity
Sandy Alderson: A box of Godiva chocolates
Scott Hairston: A (re-gifted) Box of Godiva chocolates
RA Dickey: A Darth Vader figurine with his face under the helmet.
Jose Reyes: A good trainer on staff in preparation for Toronto’s Turf.
Fred Wilpon: Two more years of Bud Selig
Baby Jeffy: A new sucker
Uncle Saul: Continued Media deflection toward The Wilpons
Mr. Met: A chance to Headbutt the Philly Phanatic. Just once will be enough to destroy.
Mets Fans: Hope. Ya Gotta Believe, right?
Johan Santana: A clock that ticks down to July 31st. It can also be rest to November 1st if necessary. Oh, and ULTIMATE METS IMMORTALITY
Huh. Guess Christmas came early this year.
From all of us at Kinerskorner.com:
May the Mets, and all of you and your loved ones, have as good of a year as Johan did on June 1st, 2012.
Posted by Robert Z